


Scattered Lights in the Darkness

by Melkur_Mistress



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Finale Fix, Hope, Missy Lives, Tears, inner conflict, twissy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 21:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15156113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melkur_Mistress/pseuds/Melkur_Mistress
Summary: He placed a kiss on her head as she held on to him tightly and cried hard. He didn't understand the reason, but the waves of emotion, regret and sorrow rolling off of her were consuming. He wished there was an exit so he could just take her hand and run.“Tell me what you know?” he asked imploringly.She could not ignore the desperate plea in his voice. She took a breath to steady herself and spoke, her voice sounding strange and distant to her.“He’s going to kill me tomorrow.”





	Scattered Lights in the Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> I became really consumed by this idea so needed to write this. It's a finale fixer, beginning with Missy and Simm Master having issues, and there's a tiny bit of Master/Missy but she shuts it down. She's having disjointed memories which become clearer, and she realises that he's going to kill her. Then it's all Twissy, so stick with me past the Master/Missy bit if it's not your cup of tea, as it doesn't go far :-)

Missy stood at the window, her gaze drifting to the woods - scanning the expected shapes now barely visible with the darkening skies. No movement, nothing to indicate that anything was approaching them. 

That gave her time to think. Pausing to think and work out a plan wasn’t a luxury she had been afforded since setting foot on the ship. It had gone from one unexpected turn to another and she had no insight, no contingency plans - no time to from any plan. Being stuck in one place was frustrating enough, but she could handle it as long as she knew the way out. This time, the way out wasn’t certain.

She shivered as blurred images, and flashes of memory cascaded through her mind - too fast, a whirling jumble bombarding her. She focused, trying hard to slow it all down and extract what she could.

She shook her head, unable to retrieve any memories of how the Doctor had left the ship. All she felt was a sadness when she thought of him. A sadness so deep it felt like an ache - not the first time in all her lives she had ever felt like that about their relationship. Normally she would counter it by paying him a visit - showcasing a grand scheme with him at the heart of it, but this was unplanned - chaotic and had all moved far too fast.

“Missy,” his voice behind her and on the fringes of her mind at the same time.

She sighed, turning only enough to make eye contact with her past. Her head hurt from the confused mess of disjointed images - residual echoes from the last time she was here. One thing was certain though - in the midst of the distorted scenes in her head. One image, standing out starkly in her mind.

He was going to kill her.

She focused, kept her cool, and looked at him somewhat wearily. Not tonight, not this moment. Right now his eyes were unashamedly roaming her body, his brash intention taking over any other impulse. Perhaps he wasn't even planning it - maybe, she considered, she should kill him first.

She shook the thoughts away, not revisiting the haze of her regeneration. It was unsettling to begin  life with no idea why you started in the first place. But the closer she got to him, and the more time they spent together, the more certain she was that she was responsible for her own regeneration.

And all she had wanted was to have some fun, get out of the vault and just have an enjoyable little jaunt with the Doctor. This was not what she wanted _ at  _ all.

She looked at him and smiled, shielding her mind with a ferocity that she hoped would not arouse his suspicion, but it was clear his mind was elsewhere.

He stepped closer and she remained still as he moved to stand behind her at the window. Her gaze returned to the darkened shapes of the wood as his hands rested on her shoulders. He moved closer, his body drawn to hers and she gave him no response. She had to remain focused - and while she was curious - feeling the pull toward him also, she couldn’t let herself get distracted like that. It instinctively felt wrong to let the physicality go too far, despite her internal debate that it wa surely her choice what she did with herself.

His breath was hot on her neck as he leaned closer and she couldn’t help they way she tilted her head ever so slightly. His mouth found the crook of her neck and his teeth grazed at her exposed flesh.

She closed her eyes, her head tilting toward him, and felt no the slightest shred of guilt when she imagined the Doctor behind her. His lips against her neck, his hands roaming with no hesitation over her breasts.

As he pressed himself against her, she eased back into his body, almost becoming lost in the moment until he stopped abruptly, his hands grasping her shoulders painfully hard as he spun her round to face him.

Her hearts thudded as she looked into his eyes and she tensed, this was not the moment, not here. She was certain of that - but if he pushed her to play her hand she would have little choice.

“You’re thinking about him,” he spat, his tone disgusted.

She gave an incredulous smile and shook her head, finding his reaction quite absurd. “Of course I am.”

He slid his hands to her upper arms and she felt a flash of alarm as he suddenly shook her with a violent jolt. “You let him keep you like a pet - I won’t let that happen. What has he done to you that you imagine  _ him _ with you’re with me?”

“Are you _ jealous _ ?” she asked, laughing and choosing not to give him a reaction despite the sharp pain in her arms from his tightening grip.

She wasn’t overly concerned, but he felt insulted now and coupling that with anger made him a little more unpredictable.

One hand left her arm and a dull throbbing ache remained as his hand slipped to the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him.

She cursed loudly and moved suddenly, his hand losing hold of her arm as she propelled forward and pressed her lips against his, taking him completely by surprise as she kissed him hard.

She had thrown him and she felt his control of the situation instantly slip. She parted her lips slightly and, his mouth opened eagerly, inviting her to keep going.

She ran one had up the back of his neck, grabbing his hair roughly while the other casually roamed downwards, stopping short of crossing a line that she wasn’t certain she wanted to cross.

She moved her hands to his chest, and let rationality take over. She did want to do this, but that didn't make it right. She shoved him, hard. He stumbled backwards and stared at her in confusion as she moved fast, stepping forward and shoving him again, this time his back hitting the hard surface of the wall.

She kept her distance and stared at him, “we can’t do this.”

“We can do anything we want to, the rules don’t matter to us” he said, scornfully.

“Go find somewhere to crash and shut the door, when you close your eyes I know who you will be imagining, and it’s  _ not _ yourself.”

He looked at her in amazement, “ok, so both of our minds might...wander, but how can we let this opportunity pass us by? You know exactly what I want, how I like it,” he said.

“Oh well, that’ll be just lovely for _ you _ then. I’ll get right to it. Meeting your needs expertly is my goal for the day!” she said, her tone mocking.

“Well if you would just take some of those layers off,  I could find my way round my new body.”

“It’s not  _ your _ body, it's mine,” she said, before stepping back, walking purposefully to the door. “I’m done. Go to bed.”

“I’m not going to  _ bed _ ,” he said irritated and quite overtly insulted.

Missy laughed, “Go let your mind wander to the person we really want.”

He stared angrily at the empty doorway as her footsteps, echoing in the quiet house, moved quickly down the hall and soon faded.

 

* * *

 

She slipped outside unnoticed, preferring the breeze of the night air to the stifling overcrowded farmhouse. She knew he was there - when the house was silent, the humans all either asleep or on watch, he returned to the barn. The flickering of candlelight in the small narrow window drew her like a magnet - but she wouldn’t interrupt. He needed to spend time with Bill, and she assumed it helped him on some level. He had to feel that he was doing something for her - still protecting her. She wondered how long Bill would last before she was lost to the Doctor and he had to face up to the truth that she could not be saved. It would break him - the loss of his pets always seemed to do that.

Walking around the barn, she found a tall wooden ladder, propped up at the side of the building. She noted that it hadn’t been moved since the previous night when she had used it, and felt assured that no one had invaded her private space.

She climbed quickly and quietly, hearing no sound from the barn. When she reached the top she walked across carefully, away of the creaking beams holding the structure together, and reached her personal oasis.

With so many humans all living together there was little to spare, but she felt she would lose her sanity if she didn’t seek a place to focus her thoughts. It was only a thick blanket, with several cushions and pillows scattered across, but she felt the breeze all around her and her line of sight went on for a long way. Even in the darkness she could see flickers of light deep into the woods - in reality small beacons anchoring to traps to snare any approaching Cybermen, but she found great solace in following their path into the distance, until she could barely make out the warm glow. It felt good to allow her gaze to search in the darkness for the smallest flame of light.

She laid down on her side, propping her head up with cushions, her gaze moving to the flickering light visible through the floorboards below her. As she shuffled down slightly, she could just see the Doctor, sitting on the hay covered ground, his head turned to the small window as he focused on the darkness outside.

She was intruding and she wanted to look away, but she found it impossible. She wanted to call to him, tell him he was an idiot to promise to save Bill. Big promises and declarations of heroism were so him, but when it all went wrong, the sense of hopelessness he felt just screamed out of him. She didn’t suspect the humans noticed the depths of his despair - they felt a wave of hope with the newcomers. Missy knew that give time, and the ability to work together they could probably do at least part of what the Doctor imagined. They could get off the ship and take the humans away too - but her past self carried no interest in such a grad scheme, his desire only for his own survival.

The Doctor stood, smoothing down his jacket as he look solemnly ahead of him, “sleep well Bill. I will fix this - not tonight. But I will save you.”

She felt a stab of sorrow at the sincerity of his words and her gaze returned to the scattered lights in the blackened night, her mind focusing as she cleared the clutter of emotion she had to deal with lately to one side, and just let herself be still and quiet. She barely had a moment alone given that she was surrounded by scared humans, her past self who was always there on the edge of her mind, and the Doctor.

She had spent the past three days avoiding him - his gaze when it fell on her was so searching and questioning that it penetrated the veneer she was trying to project. She couldn’t let him in - he had the ability to open a floodgate of emotion and that level of inner conflict was not going to be helpful. She needed to be in control, and appearing vulnerable around her former self was not something she was going to allow to happen.

She froze. The creak of the wooden ladder breaking the peace she was finally enjoying. She wasn’t sure who she least wanted to see - she wasn't ready for another battle with temptation or fight about the Doctor, but the Doctors need to make sense of her alliance with her past, and understand where her loyalties lay - that was most unwelcome also.

Despite this, when he spoke her hearts rose at the sound of his voice and she sat up, turning her head until he was in her peripheral vision.

“How long have you been up here?” he said.

“Oh not long Doctor, I wasn't spying on you if that’s what you think. I come out here at night, it’s the only place I can be alone,” she said, staring out at the dark shapes formed by the trees as she allowed him further into her peripheral vision, inching closer to her line of sight.

“Well,” he said, as he stepped in front of her, leaving her no choice but to meet his eyes. “It’s peaceful up here, I can see why you come here.”

His eyes met hers and she wanted to jump up and run to him,closing the short distance between them and wrapping her arms around him, telling him that he didn’t stand a chance with his empty promises, but that when he finally accepted that truth, she would hold him while he fell. No words left her as she felt emotion rising up fast within her. Taking a deep breath, she broke eye contact and looked out at the woods in the distance.

The Doctor sighed, as uncertain what his relationship with her was at that moment as he was about just about everything else they were faced with.

“Can I sit?” he asked, stepping closer as he gestured at the space on the blanket beside her.

“Oh, I expect so. Why don’t you try it,” she said, aiming for nonchalant and humorous but only hearing a sudden deep need colouring her words.

He sat down and she was aware of the mere inches separating them as she focused on the scattered lights weaving through the landscape.

“This,” he said. “Was not what I planned.”

She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her at the simplicity of his evaluation of their situation.

“No, I don’t doubt that. So I assume I failed the test?” she said as she turned her head to look at him.

He met her eyes and she felt a warmth enveloping her as she saw the softening of his gaze and the slight smile he cast toward her.

“Yeah, you failed. To be fair the odds were stacked against you though.”

“So I get points for effort?” she said with a smile.

He laughed and the sound brought a joy to her hearts.

“Ok, you can have points. Look Missy, I need to know If I can depend on you or not.”

She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, thrown by the directness of his question.

“It’s hard - i’m pulled back and forth all the time and it’s exhausting. I know i’m not who I was then. He hates that, and he will only hate it more.”

“More…” he said, frowning as he watched her with the questioning look she was becoming so accustomed to. “You said he will hate it more...do you remember any of this?”

“Only flashes - familiarities or images and most of it doesn't make sense. I don't know anything that could really help. I wouldn’t be sitting up here if I did.”

“Missy - are you ok...around him I mean?”

“Him? You mean am I falling into decadent temptation with myself?”

“Well that too...but he’s persistent, it bothers me.”

“Have you been spying on me? That’s really very sweet, but no, i’m ok, I can handle him,” she said, her eyes flitting to his mouth and she contemplated kissing him for his concern.

He tensed, feeling a pull toward her as he noticed her gaze drop to his lips. Inching closer, he paused, his breath on her lips as he spoke, “where to next Missy? When we get out of here, where are we going?”

She dropped her head, her forehead resting against his as she whispered, “how about every star in the universe Doctor?” 

He closed his eyes, and remained silent. When he spoke it hurt her immeasurably because her life could not be straightforward - she was now the one making big promises that she could not possibly keep. 

“I would like that very much,” he said.

His arms slipped around her and drew her into an embrace as he felt her tremble and begin to cry. He placed a kiss on her head as she held on to him tightly and cried hard. He didn't understand the reason, but the waves of emotion, regret and sorrow rolling off of her were consuming. He wished there was an exit so he could just take her hand and run.

“Tell me what you know?” he asked imploringly.

She could not ignore the desperate plea in his voice. She took a breath to steady herself and spoke, her voice sounding strange and distant to her.

“He’s going to kill me tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

He knew. As he stood making a compassionate plea to the Master - he knew this was the moment and it scared him. Time Lords always know when they were faced with a fixed point and this was not one. That much was certain, but it didn’t make him any less concerned. He understood that he had to let it play out the way it needed to - still he tried, not able to let the Master walk away without trying one more time - his hearts longing for the three of them to stand together. He knew it was a foolish yearning, and he was unsurprised when the Master walked away.

He couldn’t risk disrupting her plan as much as the whole situation disturbed him, so he made a plea to her, and he saw the pain and regret in her eyes. He meant it - he wanted her to stand with him, but he also spoke the words as a veiled plea, that she simply not walk away into the woods and risk her life. 

As she grabbed his hand, pressing her wrist firmly enough that he would feel the blade, he was served a stark reminder that she could not just stay with him or risk the beginnings of her own timeline becoming altered.

He had no choice but to let her walk away. 

He couldn’t stand waiting, it was the worst kind of torture. Every single time his friend had seemed to die, when he was left with an aching loss and a fading hope that the Master would never come back to him - the way that tortured every fibre of his being was devastating and piercing.

So he turned around and followed her. 

They hadn’t got far, only needing to reach the lifts, and he heard their voices just as he began to gain sight of them in the clearing under the cover of the denser forest surrounding them where he was unseen.

_ No. Never. Missy! I will never stand with the Doctor!  _

_ Yes, my dear, you will.  _

He fought the urge to race to her aid, to catch her when she fell and hold her hand in case this went devastatingly wrong. As their laughter echoed around him, he felt sick. The lift doors closed and she fell silent. Too silent.

He ran to her, dropping to his knees beside her as he placed one hand on her shoulder and his other on her forehead, willing her to open her eyes. 

“Missy...Missy...stay with me,” he said.

The sound of his voice broke through her composure as she fought to lay still and feign her death. Her facade broken she crumpled, her back arching and her eyes flying open as she screamed in pain. 

He pulled her into his arms, and held her tightly, panic coursing through him. “This was supposed to work Missy - please tell me it worked.”

She gasped as she tried to speak, unaware of the tears that flowed from her or the way she grabbed his coat so hard the tough material began to tear. “It hurts.”

“I need to look - I need to see if it penetrated the shielding in your corset. I’m going to put you on your side, you have to let me go.”

She gripped even tighter and spoke, her voice so afraid and frightened that she sounded almost like a surreal echo of herself.

“I can’t, I can’t let you go. Don’t leave me, it’s burning me. I’m burning.”

His hearts broke as she grimaced and cried out in pain while he lowered her to the ground, feeling the material of his coat ripping as she eventually lost her grip and let go. He hated wrenching her from his arms but he had to check her condition.  

Her hands dug into the damp earth beneath her, dirt caking under her nails as she scrambled to hold on to something. The fear and pain cascading from her as she cried hard was the most devastating sound he had ever heard. He moved quickly, pushing aside the urge to just hold her and promise her he would save her. He couldn't make another promise that he might not be able to keep. 

Pushing up her blouse he began to loosen the strings of her corset but paused as he noticed the faint glow of regeneration energy surrounding the large bloody area staining the material.

He smiled, despite the tears he did not realise he was shedding, and gently lifted her back into his arms. It was enough. They had done enough to shield against the Master’s weapon. Years of carrying it around and using it and she knew how to protect herself - but the resources they had access to were far too limited and so it was a very big risk.

“You’re ok Missy, you’re healing. I know it hurts, but you’re healing.”

The metallic sound of approaching Cybermen gave him no opportunity to reassure her, or be gentle, so he quickly lifted her, steeling himself at her cries of pain caused by the movement and draped her carefully in his arms. All he had to do was get out of the line of fire. They could lay low until they could get to Nardole and then they could have time. Time to work out a plan, for her to heal and regain her strength. He was relieved when she lost consciousness, at least it would be a reprieve from the agony she was in until he could help her.

He walked away from the sounds of approaching Cybermen, carrying her as quickly as he could to safety. He knew then, as he walked with her in his arms, that there was one sure way that they could win this and now he was certain that they could. He would protect her until she was better, and then they would do the one thing that was truly unbeatable. 

The Doctor and the Master would stand together.


End file.
